A Shiny, Resilient Hold

She sat, staring at the tree in the corner of the room, wondering about the fake snow on its branches. She had chosen this tree, a symbol of change, and insisted it be put up on the very first day possible to make happiness flow into the room. “You can't force joy,” she thought, “but you can cultivate it. You can invite it.” Her husband put a warm mug of something down next to her...tea? Had she asked for it? Probably. She couldn't keep track of the passage of time so accurately recently. Her husband's kindness and caution sat with the cup on the coffee stained arm of the couch, and his...nervous? Frustrated? His energy was bouncing out of the kitchen with the clatter of the washing up, a video on in the background to cover up the odd weight in the living room that was his wife's confusion. She was muddled. And she took a sip of the reassuring drink, (ah, tea), and felt care pour down her throat, and wished she knew how to be more receptive. So she said “Thank you...

I tried to think of a witty title to go with this piece, but ultimately decided to go with a straight forward approach. Writing it makes me cringe a little; it's awfully personal, and really awkward, but not writing it is perhaps worse. I had a complicated pregnancy. With a background of blood clots and a heart condition, I was already at moderate risk when I began my journey with little Eric. I was quickly escalated to high risk when he started having episodes of reduced fetal movement. Eventually, this would lead to a scan that would indicate that his growth was not progressing, and that he'd have to be delivered, fast. So it was decided that I'd have an induction. Now before I go into some of the details of this story, I'd like to clarify that this is not just my perspective. This is the perspective shared by the hospital as well, who have, to their credit, admitted wrong doing in so much as they can without opening themselves up for a lawsuit. I gave birth at a...